Are you a psychic sponge? Three ways to stop sucking it up.

Picture this scene: You’re at a party interacting with fun people, laughing and feeling good. A friend approaches, who you had noticed wasn’t looking so great when you entered the room. They start to share the contents of their depressing day and before you know it, your own mood starts to drop. They finish their story and thank you for the talk, walking away with a lightness in their step. You’re glad to help, except now you don’t feel much like partying any more, pj’s on the couch sounds much more inviting…. 

What happened?  **Insert sucking sound here.**

Yup, that’s right, this friend came to you with negativity and you sucked it up!

This is what it means to be a psychic sponge. If this sounds familiar, you are likely a natural healer and very sensitive. Feeling other people’s feelings is a sign that you are empathic, or clairsentient.

The thing about being a psychic sponge is that we often don’t realize we are doing it. Here are three tips to manage this dynamic so that you can start to be free of carrying any loads that aren’t yours to bear.

1: Know Thyself

A key to discerning your feelings from another’s is awareness. It is difficult to stop yourself from absorbing someone else’s stuff if you are not clear on what you are feeling in the first place. 

One of the best tools you can have as an empath is to spend time grounding into your own feelings and knowing what is happening in your inner environment. That way, when external energies start to mix with your own, you can exercise your free will and say “no thank you,” allowing yourself more control of the otherwise automatic dynamic.

As natural healers, we love to feel helpful, but it’s important to note that each of us is responsible for our own energy and sacrificing yourself by taking on other people’s stuff is not correct. Can you be caring? Encouraging? Offer words of wisdom? Of course. Kindness is what the world needs more than anything. But prioritizing your own wellness is essential above all else, you can’t truly help anyone else if you don’t put your Self First.

2: Get in the driver’s seat

Many years ago after being introduced to inner child work, I was given the awareness cue, “who’s driving?”

This means that sometimes younger parts of ourselves can slip into the driver seat of our minds without us realizing, especially if we are uncomfortable or triggered. Being a psychic sponge often functions unconsciously and can be connected to younger parts of ourselves that are seeking control. 

Ask yourself:  Are you uncomfortable? Does some part of you really want to make the situation better, or rather need to make it better? How old do you feel? This is where you might take some deep breaths and check out who is in the driver’s seat of the situation, and put the adult’s hands back on the wheel.

Most of us are not educated as children to understand our intuitive gifts and if there was any emotional instability in the home growing up, this can amplify our desire to suck up negativity. If a child feels helpless to the emotions around them, they might try and take them on in order to feel in control or find comfort. 

3: Get Educated

If all of these points are really resonating, it’s important to know you are not alone in trying to understand with your empathic gifts. There are many toolboxes out there for the everyday reality of being a sensitive person. 

Through our medication system and course work at the Academy, we teach intuitive development with a focus on safety and stability. If you’d like to learn a shielding and grounding that’s based in energy systems that really work, check out our foundational course that can help you flourish in your gifts without having to take anything on. 


  1. Leslie Robinson on March 6, 2024 at 2:37 pm

    Brilliant! Much needed…thanks!