Blog

In Silence there is eloquence. Stop weaving and see how the pattern improves – Rumi

“Inner silence” is a well-used catch phrase relating to the core of most spiritual practices. The idea has become so commoditized that we don’t blink if we see them on a cream cheese commercial and yet, what does it mean? How do we achieve it? For many of us, it is a tall order to stop life so we can find a serene mountain to hike, or shut off the world we don’t hear a sound. And even if we manage to be in a place without external distractions are we able “be” quiet?

As a meditation teacher, I’ve discovered it’s a lot more complex then people realize, a dance within our nature to find what we define as silence. People are often discouraged in early attempts to meditate because they can’t “turn off their thoughts”. In the Western world, we are cultured to value an active mind, based on stimulus. It can be very difficult for us to achieve the form of meditation that seeks to empty the mind. This doesn’t mean you can’t meditate. This means an active style of meditation is better suited for you, a discipline that fills the mind with purposeful activity.

So if we stop fighting the way our brain works, where do we go from there? First, start by acknowledging the intrinsic value of your inner world; it’s what makes you unique, where the treasure box of you is hidden. From there, foster time in your life to be still enough to become aware of what is actually going on inside. This in itself can be a tall order to fill, especially on a consistent basis. Part of the secret is to treat this aspect of yourself like a friend you want to be closer to, all the while knowing it’s you. This silence is yours, an inherent and beautiful part of your complex human nature.

As someone who has had a devoted meditation practice for over 15 years, I can easily say I am not a dew-drop serene picture of peace at all times. I live in a dynamic state, that is both driven and contemplative, riddled with the challenges of everyday life. What I’ve learned is that I can’t shut the busy, ambitious aspect of my nature in order to achieve calm. Rather I need to respect a balance between these two energies and work to make space for both of them: Active and Receptive, or as described in eastern medicine, Yin and Yang.

Think about how calm your body feels after a rigorous workout or how still your emotions feel after a good laugh or cry. It is our ability to move between action and reflection that allows us to live consciously, through building the inner awareness to enjoy the balance.

We need to move in order to be quiet. And we need quiet in order to move with a purpose.

One thing I’ve learned about inner silence is that you have to be present in order to notice it. You have to be present in order to call it forward. So connect with yourself and consider what you need to find your peace? Will movement or creativity bring you there? Perhaps a conscious walk in the park or listening to some music. Find your balance and then reach within to connect with yourself, take some time and foster an awareness of what this peace feels like to you, so it is yours and not someone else’s idea of what it should be. In a focused state, try this meditation:

Take some deep breaths and settle into you body. Connect to what you know as the divine. With this connection, acknowledge the truth that calm is part of your inherent nature, no matter how buried. Remember moments in your life where you felt the most quiet. Feel it, see it, smell and hear it. What stands out the most? Bring those feelings into the moment and then build on them. Create a new place inside you where you can find that peace. Give it an image, sound or color-tone you can remember and find again. Connect with the divine and know this feeling is your innate right.

The more you make time for this time with the silence of you, the less you will have to chase it. Be it at a coffee shop, in a meditation or while taking your daily run, your precious friend will come upon you and integrate more into your life. Remember it’s all about balance!

Elinor Svoboda

~ Level 1 and Level 2 Teacher

Faye Fitzgerald is the founder of the Training in Power Academy, a spiritual education system that offers over 20 courses in meditation, spiritual healing and self-empowerment. She has counseled and worked with hundreds of clients over the years and recognizes the common struggles that many have with anxiety and depression. Recently she launched a day-long workshop regarding the topic in Toronto. We sat down with her to find out more about her unique perspective on anxiety and depression.

Anxiety and depression is something that most people, on a spectrum, deal with in their day-to-day lives. As a spiritual healer and teacher, what is your perspective on these two dynamics?

I think anxiety and depression are a call from the spirit, a call to be more and live more than just our human life. We may be successful in our human lives, but spirit must take precedent. It’s a tough go when we are not trained to even look to the spirit, other than maybe in church or something, and that’s just for when we are there. Sometimes, our sense of self is very compartmentalized. What starts happening is this flood of anxiety or depression can sweep through all those compartments, until those false divisions melt away and people start taking stock of what is actually going on inside themselves.

So when you say it comes from spirit, is that to say that anxiety and depression is caused by spirit? Or is it a symptom of a disharmony within?

It is treated as a symptom of disharmony, when we are not functioning optimally. We are then medicated and it’s called an illness and there is still no recognition of some of the deeper causes, which can be from dynamics of childhood that are of a traumatic nature.

When we are traumatized as children we are thrust too soon into our spirit, into that other side. It can come from being harmed and betrayed. Somehow there was a breaking of a greater divine Law toward the child. The child then becomes prone to the touches of the other side, which can cause both depression and anxiety as they go hand-in-hand.

While you say depression and anxiety go hand in hand, how would you describe either side of the dynamic?

The depressive side of things is the recognition that the only way to get over to the other side is through death, so it involves an element of death energy. The death energy then creates anxiety. If there is depression going on, then anxiety immediately follows. Most of us can’t go into a hospital without a little bit of a twinge of anxiety, so it is a natural response.

If anxiety is the beginning and there is no sign of depression, then there is a touch from the other side that is a demand that you pay attention to your higher calling. You are somehow being called into service, toward your noble nature.

For those people who have anxiety come upon them during the day and they don’t know why, or those who wake up in a depression and struggle all day to get out of it, how would you advise them to find their way through it?

When those touches come, when anxiety comes, it’s when we know we are going to take a false step or we know we are going down a road we are going to regret. We know that we are not seeing the full scope, the ‘third choice’ if you will. Most people live in an either-or world. It’s pretty much in a demand-ultimatum and even if you don’t make a decision, the decision is often made for you.

Whether it’s conscious or not, people can put anxiety onto issues of their survival, like food, shelter or genuine human need, but that level of strife really isn’t true for most people. So we have to start looking at – what is the call? What is this anxiety? Rather than running from it, embrace it and really overcome it by facing it and becoming conscious.

You say, “OK I have anxiety, I’ve been triggered, is there something that is stimulating this extreme response?” If so, the more you are conscious of the initial trauma, the more you will heal. The truth shall set you free.

Your suggestion is ultimately, that anxiety and depression can be used as a tool.

It’s part of the grand design of who we are. You’re not really going to be rid of that mechanism, so it’s better that you understand that it’s sort of like a teeter-totter. The more you can come toward the centre of a teeter-totter, the more you are in balance. Lots of us used to do this as kids on the playground. We’d stand on either side of that balance point and run that empty teeter-totter up and down.

When we are way out on the extremes of anxiety and the extremes of depression, it feels much like that teeter-totter: when the depression is up then the anxiety is lowered, and then the anxiety kicks in because there is a death energy then the depression gets lowered. And it goes up and down and down and up, and so on. Until there is a non-understanding and you just feel overwhelmed, victimized, or caught.

The more you can really face these things, you’ll drive them inward toward that balance point, the fulcrum point of the teeter-totter. So you’ll stand there and you might feel a twinge towards depression or anxiety, but you’ve already got the mechanisms underfoot to balance you, so to speak.

Find out more about Faye and her work at www.fayefitzgerald.com.

An anxiety and depression workshop will be offered in Summer 2016 in Vancouver, BC, Canada. Find out more at www.traininginpower.com.

One of the key concepts that we cover in our foundational course Level 1: The Prophet, is the Divine Law of Self First. Self-First refers to the fundamental importance of taking care of your self, before tending to others or all the other demands that come from the external world.

Simple, right? They even tell you to do it when riding on an airplane, if the oxygen mask drops down, you put yours on first and then help someone in need. I often use this example when I’m teaching and when I ask the students why, there is always a long pause.

And then…

“Because you can’t help anyone else if you can’t breathe?”

YES! Sounds like common sense, doesn’t it? Yet why does it feel so complicated when it comes time for us to apply Self First in our lives? Why do we often leave our own needs until last? Why do we wait until we are over-tired, over-extended or even physically sick to finally address what we need?

“Self First is selfish”

There is a big difference between Self First and being selfish aka narcissism. If you’re not sure, let’s look at the psychological definition:

Not taking a business call on your break so you can have lunch, arranging childcare so you can get a massage or taking a moment to decompress your own stress before hearing about your partner’s crazy day….is this really selfish? A desire for admiration? Yet, this message is engrained in us from an early age.

Of course, considering others is an important lesson that we must learn as children, when we think everything in the world revolves around us. And you may have been well praised when putting others first. But it is so easy for that healthy consideration to move into leaving our own needs until last, especially if you are someone who derives a lot of joy and satisfaction from helping others. It’s instant gratification when you give or fix something on the external, and yet the gesture will become empty if you don’t pause to recharge your battery.

So in truth, it is irresponsible NOT to tend to yourself first. If you empty your internal wellspring of love, joy and healing on another and don’t take the time to fill it up, then you’ll either burn out, or become needy to get it from others and THAT can seem, well…selfish. Funny how that works, isn’t it?

“I don’t have enough time”

No question, modern life is busy. It is all to easy to fall victim to what seems out of our control and get sucked into a life of schedules, to-do lists and unanswered emails. Many people don’t find a way out until they burnout, get sick or have a dramatic life event that makes them realize they need to start taking care of themselves. Then Self First becomes a monumental task that can take days, weeks and even years of focused repair work. If you leave it that long, then yes, Self First does take a lot of time.

But consider this: What if it were to be one minute of every hour, or even 10 minutes a day to tend to our own needs? Small bites, little moments that build into a sustainable routine which can connects us to our internal voice, who guides us to what needs attention before it becomes an issue.

In our work at TIPA, meditation is where we take the time daily to fill our buckets and replenish ourselves. We use that internal communion with the divine principles of love to deepen our relationship with Self. What might work for you?

Consider taking those moments to address yourself and watch what happens, see how life becomes less stressful and more focused. Notice how much more effecting and helpful you are to others when you put your mask on first. Oxygen matters! And so you do you!

~Elinor Svoboda

Level 1 and Level 2 teacher