Are You First in Your Own Line?

When I was growing up, I had two homes.  In my first home, my every movement was controlled and I had to follow many rules. In my second home, I had freedom and I was loved.  This one was hidden deeply within myself.

While the outside world kept pushing me to become useful, I daydreamed a lot. I learned to lock myself away in a bathroom to create space and time for me to read and dream.  But over the years, I had such intense training to become useful to others that others became the priority in both my homes – both my external and my internal world.

I became almost obsessed with mastering skills to help others in better and more efficient ways.  My focus in training, schooling and a variety of courses was to perfect myself for the world.  It took me 48 years to discover that I had totally lost myself in other people’s lives.

During a workshop that I was taking, all the students were asked where they stood in the line up of their personal priorities.  For me, the idea to be the first in my own line never occurred to me. I found myself unconsciously stepping into space number 21 in my line.

To my surprise each participant was asked to openly tell the class each of the people in their lives that took priority. And I found I didn’t have any difficulty naming those people whose needs were more important than mine.

This experience was an eye-opening process for me. I could not hide from this knowledge any longer.  It was then that I decided to put my needs and myself first on my own to-do list.

But now I had a dilemma – how could I be first in my life? How could I be good to myself for a change? I had no clue.  I knew that I liked to be liked, appreciated, useful – even if that meant loosing energy, health and time.
Ania
So I read more books and took more workshops. But I found myself still following the same pattern of always putting others first before me. I was unable to shake off the responsibilities that I believed were mine to carry. By this point, I was exhausted from a combination of stressful work situations, dealing with dying patients, and being the main caregiver for a seriously-ill family member.

One day, I heard an announcement at work about a meditation course.  It was offered by a nurse who was doing research for her Masters thesis at UBC.  I signed up.  It felt like this course would offer me the assistance that I desperately needed. It felt like this was a way to rediscover myself.

During the course, my journey back to myself began.  I learned wonderful tools. I learned “how” to put myself first. And I now had the help that I needed when challenges arose. Most importantly, I started developing a true relationship with myself. It is an ongoing process. But I am now first in my own line.  I still care for others, but after caring for myself.

Now, I teach this meditation course. If you desire to be good to yourself, to be first in your own line, welcome.

~ Ania Jasiak
Level I Teacher, Artist, BC Therapeutic Touch Practitioner, BC Instructor, BC Health Clinician BSN

Who Do You Think You’re Fooling?

Did the title spook you? It was meant to.

A friend of mine had done the work of putting together a comprehensive resume listing all her skills. She confessed to me that when she read it back over, it was so impressive she couldn’t believe the resume was her own. I asked her if she lied or exaggerated. She had not lied.

I shouted “Then, snap out of it, woman!” and we had a laugh.

In truth, though, this is no laughing matter. We are talking about an inability to see the self in truth. It is said that butterflies can’t see their own wings and likewise humans seem to be afflicted with an inability to see the ways they are magnificent. The term that is being used to describe this affliction is “Imposter Syndrome”, an irrational fear of people finding out that you’re a fake or that you’re just making it up as you go along. In my lexicon of naming, I refer to this dynamic as “waiting for the tap”. I’m just hanging about here with these creditable experts, these responsible adults, these lovely people….until someone notices I am in the wrong place and comes over to give me a tap on the shoulder and tell me to move along.

Meryl Streep, a veteran actor who holds the record for the most Academy Award nominations (18) demonstrates her own susceptibility to this syndrome in this quote: “You think, why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? And I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?”

IMG_4382_resized_enhColor

 

An “Imposter” has an impossibly high standard set for their expertise. They often have an unreasonable expectation of infallibility which does not allow for them to make a single mistake. This attitude makes learning a new skill torturous as the Imposter is highly critical of their lack of coordination. The fear of appearing foolish or ignorant may prevent a person with Imposter Syndrome from learning new things.

Dr. Valerie Young, who has made a study of this syndrome, says that, “The thing about impostors is, they have unsustainably high standards for everything they do. The thinking here is, if I don’t know everything, then I know nothing. If it’s not absolutely perfect, it’s woefully deficient. If I’m not operating at the top of my game 24/7, then I’m incompetent.”

It’s an all or nothing at all world for the imposter who suffers their fear of inadequacy alone, anxious that everyone will know the true depth of their incompetence if they make one little slip. All their years of credibility and good faith could be swallowed up by a single mistake. They exaggerate internally, the level of risk represented in any new venture, often talking themselves out of new experiences for fear of showing themselves unsatisfactory or proving themselves to be charlatans.

Tara Sophia Mohr suggests in her article “Understanding How to Frame Your Creative Expertise”, that there are 4 types of experts. The Survivor has experienced something and now is moved to share that experience with others. The Cross-Trainer has a passion for more than one thing and is able to create conceptual bridges between their areas of expertise that help make sense of one or the other of those specialties. The Called are people who are deeply moved from within to bring their vision or knowledge to the rest of the world. Finally there is The Academic. This expert may have written a book or two and has academic credentials.

Imposters inevitably compare themselves with the Academics, feeling that they are not as qualified as Dr. Expert and therefore their position must be inferior. Setting that high standard, the Imposter disregards the wisdom of experience offered in the Survivor’s expertise, questions their own perceptions of their field when faced with a scrappy Cross-Trainer, or may be disdainful of the knowledge brought forth by the one who is Called.

The truth of it is that most people are just out there flying by the seat of their pants, weighing instinct against imprinting to make decisions, and learning all they can tolerate about the law of cause and effect. What all four types of experts have in common is that they believe in themselves enough to share their wisdom, skills and insight, be that by humorous observation, epiphanies, or revelation.

No fast remedy for the newly hatched syndrome but to set an intention to view the self with greater respect and kindness. Make a resume if you must, to list your assets. If you struggle with that, ask a close friend to extol your virtues. Your task will be to receive every compliment your friend speaks without bounce-back or denial. It may so happen that you, like my friend, are not an Academic style expert. Surprise! You don’t have to be. You just have to believe in yourself and the inspiration that moves you.

My point here is, “Snap out of it!”

~ Shaughna Born
Teacher, The Archetype and The Alchemist courses

Crystal Healing

Long ago, many civilizations understood the power of crystals and stones and used them for protection, healing and rites of initiation. Ancient medical traditions included the wearing of amulets and charms. We are only now rediscovering many of the healing practices used by the ancients.

Historically, gem stones have been associated with royalty. The Bible refers to crystals over 200 times. Throughout the ages crystals and gemstones have been known by many to stimulate processes of transformation and healing.

Each crystalline form has its own unique personality and vibration. Crystals may be used to transform, conduct, amplify or transmit energy and light. Minerals and precious gems are active healing agents that radiate light and energy. This radiation has a natural influence on biological organisms. Healing stones allow one to access and utilize energies that permeate the entire universe.

Karin_purple793The atmosphere we live in affects our emotional and physical health. Healing crystals can have a positive effect on our environment.

A crystal contains absorbed light. So when a crystal is placed directly on the body, it can influence the “light communication” between cells. Particular reactions are triggered as these energies interact. They influence the body’s system according to what is required at the time. A stone will offer information in the form of radiant energy. If this energy is accepted, healing will take place.

Healing with crystals is an information therapy as are Homeopathy, Bach Flower Remedies and Aromatherapy. In each case it is not the chemical substance that is effective. Rather it is the information emitted by it which produces healing results.

A stone chosen to suit the needs and personality of an individual will be more successful than one chosen randomly. Any ordinary stone may produce a result. It depends upon an individual’s receptivity as well as what is required in that moment.

lapis celestite et alCrystal healing is a non-intrusive method for developing the ability to heal from within. Healing stones can be used to clear the aura, balance the chakras and to loosen old energy patterns. The effect of a healing stone, however, will be temporary unless the information gained is recognized and transformed into action.

It is the insight gained from a stone that releases old energy patterns. If we do not stop repeating our old habits these patterns will return. Crystals are aids for healing. We can use them to support us in changing the problems we ourselves have created.

~ Karin Burgermeister, Crystal Healer
Sahara Minerals
Member of Gem & Mineral Federation of Canada

 

Healing at the Wellness Show

I just finished another weekend of energy healings at the Vancouver Wellness Show. Our team of healers and teachers had so much fun working with whoever showed up, all beautiful in their unique way, and willing to try something different.

Response to the “free energy healing” offer varies. Some people love it and bring their friends back every year. Others are just not in the mood. Sometimes it’s the wrong time of day, the weather, too much going on next door or down the aisle. And sometimes, it’s about what their buddy thinks!

shutterstock_244018153Some of us healers are more chatty than others. For me, it is not so easy to talk about this to someone I just met. So much depends on your personality. I’m pretty reserved. It took me a long time to reveal the healer side of myself at work, and even then it was because somebody was ill. But it helps me step out of my comfort zone, and it’s fun to show to people. I say “I can do energy healing at a distance”, and as I sit across from someone at the little trade show booth, that is part of what I am demonstrating. No physical touch is needed. Hugs are optional.

As I send the healing energy, I might talk about something I am seeing, hearing, feeling or just knowing– we each develop our intuition in our own way. People usually leave our booth more relaxed, feeling better, maybe a little stronger and ready for the next part of their day or their life.

So if you dropped by our booth and got a healing, thank you. You expanded our journeys, deepened our awareness, and gave us a chance to give something back to the world. We wish you well, and hope to see you again.

~ by Lori Fuglem, Level VII